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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25778800">New encounters</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChesterPoe/pseuds/ChesterPoe'>ChesterPoe</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Centaur AU, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Geraskier, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Masturbation, Rutting, buck!jaskier, centaur!eskel, centaur!geralt, centaur!lambert, centaur!vesemir</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:28:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,493</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25778800</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChesterPoe/pseuds/ChesterPoe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaskiers first winter at kaer morhen is going great, until he begins rut and has to find a way to get through it without being to obvious to the witchers at the keep also "[the witchers] dont understand how bucks work and think jaskier just pulled a bone from his head"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aiden/Lambert (The Witcher), Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>244</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. It begins</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! This is a little thing inspired by @afraidofliving1213 on tumblr, their post about centaurs and buck!jaskier. Based on the coloring I assumed he was a whitetail deer so this is that.<br/>"[the witchers] dont understand how bucks work and think jaskier just pulled a bone from his head"</p><p>inspired by https://afraidofliving1213.tumblr.com/post/620468710077071360/yet-another-au-but-i-put-in-the-effort-to-specify</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This would be the first winter Jaskier spent with Geralt. The trek up the mountain through snow and wind was hard on them both, even if Geralt wouldn't admit it. Jaskier spent the last 3 days of the journey dreaming of a warm fire and recently cooked food. By the time they were at the doors of the keep Jaskiers shivering body was hopping along nearly frozen hooves, waiting to get inside and meet Geralts family. </p><p>	The great doors opened, "The doors are big. Let me guess, it's to let your big but in?" Jaskier smiled at himself when Geralt let out what he would describe as an amused huff. </p><p>	Geralt hadn't explained much about Kaer Morhen, and he didn't get much of a first sight when two large witchers trotted to them, obscuring his view. </p><p>	"You've brought quite the minx dear Geralt." said one with a scar along his face. </p><p>	"Hello, Lambert." Geralt stated, "This is Jaskier." He gestured down to the deer. </p><p>	"Hi! Really lovely place you have here, would love to actually see it." Jaskier said, pushing in between Geralt and Lambert. </p><p>	"I like him, he's odd." Jaskier turned to face the other witcher. </p><p>	"About as odd as your mother." he said, straightening up to look another scared face in the eyes. Eskel snorted and looked away with an amused look on his face. </p><p>	Geralt walked to them, patting his brothers back, "Play nice. Jaskier this is Eskel." </p><p>	Eskel looked him up and down, "He's smaller than I thought." </p><p>	Before Jaskier could get a word in Geralt smirked, the closest he had come to a smile during their trip. "You can keep to your goats." </p><p>	Jaskier huffed and puffed before indignantly asking, "Are you comparing me to a goat? Geralt!" his little stomping made Eskel smile and Jaskier thought he would quite enjoy his stay here. </p><p>... </p><p>	Less than a month had passed while at the keep, he had met Vesimir at dinner the first night and routinely saw him in the library. They had talked a bit about varying things, he knew quite a lot and Jaskier enjoyed the conversation, especially compared to the silent brood that was Geralt. </p><p>	"How will you be dealing with your rut while here?" Vesimir asked, setting down his book. </p><p>	With a wavering hand he stammered out, "I, I um, didn't really plan on thinking much of it." He was not about to explain his nightly plans with Geralts dad. </p><p>	"Hmm." he answered without much more input. Jaskier saw where Geralt got it from. </p><p>	He left the library with only one thing on his mind, what is he going to do about hiding this from the witchers. If Vesimir knows surely the rest do, and if they all know then maybe there is no point in hiding it. Then again, they are the silent type, the lot of them. What if he simply ignores it, takes care of it himself when needed and played a bit with the stamina filled witchers to get off edge. They don't need to know every detail if they get the jist of what is going on. </p><p>	The first night wasn't too hard, he paced about the dining hall while they finished their meals. Not meaning to stare too intently at anyone of them. It may have taken him longer to get to sleep that night, but it didn't take too long. </p><p>	The second night was nearly a repeat of the first if Eskel had not asked, "Are you alright, bard?" </p><p>	"Oh, yes! Fine, simply letting off some steam." he smiled a big smile at him, and walked off to his room. hearing Geralt get he walked a little faster, closing the door behind him. He felt a heat rising in his stomach and knew this night couldn't just be ignored. He had hoped it wouldn't come to this, at least not so soon. Jaskier knew of the witchers heightened senses. Knew he would be heard or smelled if he tried to relieve himself. </p><p>	He walked the halls of the keep that night until he was sure every witcher was in their rooms, then waited longer until he couldn't hear any steps. He walked slowly back to his room. Both afraid to wake anyone, as well as postponing what he would have to do. </p><p>	Already in his night wear Jaskier readied himself, even with his flexibility this would be a difficult task. He set his pillows between his legs and began to rut against it. He was trying to be quiet, but couldn't keep from letting out hard breaths. It would take longer this way without help, so he trudged on. as he came closer to release, he heard steps out in the hall. Stopping mid thrust he waited for the sound to pass. </p><p>	Instead it came to a halt at his door, a few uneasy steps were heard before the was a knocking at his door. "Jaskier?" it was Geralt, "Do you need anything?"  </p><p>	You, he thought, but stayed quiet. Afraid that the breathy unstable voice would give him away. He waited, hoping Geralt would leave without any more questions, he wasn't that lucky as another knock came. "Jask?" Geralt rarely called him that, he only used it if Jaskier was injured or so truly upset he would be quiet, a feat for one such bard. </p><p>	"I'm alright, Geralt. No need to worry." He was technically telling the truth, he was in great health, but it still felt bad. He waited to hear the sound of trotting hoofs leaving, there was silence for quite some time, not sure what came over himself Jaskier whispered out a soft and nearly inaudible, "Geralt." Still no answer he felt his hips twitch, wanting to continue the motion. </p><p>	"Can I come in?" his voice was even softer than before. </p><p>	"No." this one was a lie, he wanted Geralt here with him, helping him through this. Finally, the steps started up, walking away from the door slowly. Geralt could be quite if he wanted to, he was letting Jaskier know he was gone. </p><p>	He tried to get back to the rhythm he had had, but failed. Jaskier slept horrid that, tossing and turning, still pent up, unable to help himself. </p><p>	This week is going to last an eternity.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Help might be needed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>fluffy worryworts Geralt and Eskel</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I did not expect this many people to read this so thanks. i now know a lot about deer, ruts tend to last 7 to 10 day so expect 7 to 10 chapters</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>As the third day was coming to an end Jaskier, for the first time since arriving at the keep, regretted coming along. He enjoyed spending a comfortable time with Geralt, meeting his family, watching them train, and spending his time in the library. However, his thoughts betrayed him. He felt like a burden to the witchers who gave him a bed and food every night, just for him to defile their sheets.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Geralt had been cautious with him all day, as had Eskel to a lesser degree. Although </span>
  <span>Vesemir</span>
  <span> and Lambert didn’t seem to mind he felt as though their eyes bore through the truth. While playing his lute, learning old songs he found in one of the many music books, Geralt came to listen. He stilled in the hall close to the window Jaskier was sat by, strumming at new patterns.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Where did you learn those songs?” Geralt asked. He wasn’t much of a talker on good days, nor did he tend to ask a question longer than one word. He was either worried beyond belief or this song was actually a spell and Geralt was enticed.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jaskier stopped his strumming, “I found this book in the library, </span>
  <span>Vesemir</span>
  <span> said I could study it if I did so outside of where he was reading.” Geralt didn’t seem to be fazed by the ending of the music, he could cross off the music magic.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t make much of a difference, he could hear a mouse running through the keep.” Geralt said smugly, he was talking about all the witchers here, including himself.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, surely he knows how to cancel things out. Not that he would need to with my music of course” Jaskier smiled, he was much better at boasting than Geralt was. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He must have, otherwise how would he have survived a pack of mutant teenagers at their worst.” Geralt looked out the window, down at Eskel and Lambert throwing dirt and the remains of a straw dummy at each other. Jaskier saw their mouths moving yet heard nothing. Geralt could hear them... he could hear Jaskier singing from down there... he could hear everything last night.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I should, I should really get back to copying over this music. I probably won't finish learning all of them by the time winter ends.” He stood quicky, rushing off with papers and his lute bunched in his arms. He didn’t turn around, he didn’t want Geralt to see his reddening face. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Once in his room he locked the door behind him. Setting down his things on the desk, he decided to distract himself with actually working on transferring the book to a blank journal. As night crept in and he was working through lamp light and the last of his ink he decided to skip dinner. Watching the </span>
  <span>witchers</span>
  <span> eat through a table of food and jest with each other was not helping him get through this.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Before long there was another knock on the door, he’d managed to distract himself up until now so he strutted his way to the door without a worry of having a night as bad as yesterday. He expected to see Geralt and simply shoo him off. Instead at the door was Eskel with a plate of food that was too much for Jaskier.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not good to skip meals little one.” Eskel held out the food for a second before pulling the plate back to himself and asking to be let in.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jaskier had no excuse for not coming down that would also excuse the kind gesture so he moved to the side, letting Eskel in. He moved over to the bed, setting down the mountain of food. As Jaskier lent against the table he had covered in paper and sprawled out books he had trouble looking Eskel in the eyes.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Eskel. I appreciate the sentiment.” Jaskier began to fiddle with the end of a quill as he spoke, his heart racing as he began to lie, “I didn’t notice the hour, sorry to worry you.” he’d gotten used to </span>
  <span>Eskels</span>
  <span> soft and caring nature, but this still felt more than necessary.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I can hear your heart Jaskier. There is no need to lie.” he took his leave, once out the door he turned and added, “Help is here if you need it.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He ate what he could from the plate, just enough for him to be able to carry it and took it back down to the kitchen. Thankful he ran into no one Jaskier returned to his room, curled up in a thick blanket and feeling worse than the night before. He didn’t bother trying to alleviate the growing pressure in his belly that night.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Twisting and uncomfortable Jaskier woke in the night, unsure of the hour but seeing quite well. An odd benefit of being a deer that he had in common with the </span>
  <span>witchers</span>
  <span>. A pounding at the door jolted him the rest of the way out of sleep.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Still groggy and not wanting to get out of bed he dragged his hooves along the cold floor. Another knock came and he mumbled out an ‘I'm coming’, as he unlocked the door it was pushed open with an unexpected force. There, in a simple dark top and a blanket about to fall off his back stood Geralt.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” he nearly shouted, Geralt looked around the room as if there would have been someone there.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Geralt, what are you talking about? What time is it?” Confused, Jaskier headed back to bed before Geralt could really answer. Geralt followed after him.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You where whining. You sounded like you were in pain.” Jaskier stopped walking, “You didn’t come down to eat, Eskel said you seemed troubled.” he wanted to call Eskel a snitch, but couldn’t manage to speak. “Are you hurt?”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” He hurt Geralt, he worried him over nothing.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Did something happen?”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” This was harder to deal with then the actual rut.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Jaskier, tell me.” He walked towards Jaskier, trying to look him in the eyes. He knew when Jaskier was lying and Jaskier knew that, but it was still hard to face him. “Please?”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I can't,” he finally looked Geralt in the eyes, he looked questioning. Looking away from Geralt again, now looking at the bed he said, “It’s </span>
  <span>embarrassing</span>
  <span>.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of asking more Geralt lead Jaskier the rest of the way to the soft bed, taking his hand and getting in first. Jaskier didn’t hesitate to get in alongside him, they had shared a bed before when the coin was short. This shouldn’t be any different, but it was.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Geralt pulled him in close, letting Jaskier curl up against him. “You’re safe here.” Geralt said, beginning to rub little circles on Jaskier back. That wasn’t the issue but it made him feel better none the less. Scared Geralt would leave he kept </span>
  <span>quiet</span>
  <span> and fell asleep quickly.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had about another week of this, maybe he could make it if this was all that was needed.</span>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ooohhhh how will it end haha were on this ride together now</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Snowed in and locked out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>hrng we begin a slow desent of angst</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>im finaly out of finals, hurrah<br/>took a little to get back into this, tho. I've never written anything with a furry leaning tendency</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jaskier awoke that morning in Geralt’s arms, and although the thought of staying in bed and pretending to be asleep did cross his mind the guilt of using his friend like that would leave a sour taste in his mouth if he did.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He knew Geralt would wake as he moved away from him, but he’d be damned if he wasn’t as quiet as he could be. Jaskier shifted to the side of the bed, slipping out of Geralt’s hold and, as expected, the </span>
  <span>witcher</span>
  <span> opened his eyes.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“hmm.” Geralt said eyeing Jaskier as he stood up.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m heading down to eat is all, you’re welcome to accompany me if you’d like.” Jaskier threw on clothes that </span>
  <span>no one</span>
  <span> here would notice matched and headed to the door. He wanted to hesitate, for Geralt to call him back to bed, but neither did.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Instead Geralt followed suit, trailing behind Jaskier. He hadn't changed and didn’t seem to care to head to his room to get ready. </span>
  <span>Vesimir</span>
  <span> was at the table when they arrived, this would be the first time Jaskier had ever seen </span>
  <span>Vesimir</span>
  <span> in his sleep wear. Before he could question it Eskel and Lambert came down, neither had gotten ready.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why, if I may be so bold to ask, is everyone but I in their night wear?” Jaskier asked, wondering if he had missed something as he sat at the table.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It's snowing.” Lambert sputtered with food already in his mouth.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s been snowing for two weeks. Why is today different?” Jaskier tried to look out the </span>
  <span>far-off</span>
  <span> window but was met with only white.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s snowing a lot.” Geralt clarified.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And you know this before even looking outside, because of witchery magic.” Jaskier said, more so a statement than a question.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not magic.” Geralt mumbled into the </span>
  <span>chicken</span>
  <span> leg in his hand.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“The smell, Bard.” Lambert looked up from his plate with a smile. So </span>
  <span>witchers</span>
  <span> smell the weather, that’s a piece of knowledge he would use next time he and Geralt were caught up in a storm.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Speaking of smell,” Eskel said pointing a buttered knife to Jaskier, “why do you reek of Geralt?”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Blush crept up the back of Jaskier’s neck, he looked down at his plate. It was then, for the first time ever, he wished Geralt wouldn’t say a word. He had no such luck.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We shared a bed.” a statement as clear and simple as any, as if Geralt had just said ‘I am wearing black’.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Vesimir</span>
  <span> smirked, “Good to know.” He stood from the table, now done with his food and the conversation. “Didn't expect the left-over silencing spells from their </span>
  <em>
    <span>growing years </span>
  </em>
  <span>would come in handy again.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The table broke out in uproarious laughter. At that Jaskier’s blush over took his face. He hadn't done anything with Geralt and the thought of looking over to find Geralt disgusted by the mere concept made his stomach flip. He stared intently at his food, it was quiet for a while as he heard Lambert and Eskel jabbing at each other. He stood, leaving so he wouldn't hear Geralt’s moans of how he would never touch the bard. Geralt seemed like he was going to say something, but Jaskier hurried off before he could.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>…</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So Geralt,” Eskel prodded, “tell me what the bard </span>
  <span>really</span>
  <span> sounds like when he </span>
  <span>screams</span>
  <span>.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut it, Eskel.” Geralt said, hiding behind his ale, “We didn’t do anything.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well tell that to your bard, ‘</span>
  <span>cuz</span>
  <span> he seemed to have had quite the reaction.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He hates me </span>
  <span>now;</span>
  <span> I went </span>
  <span>too</span>
  <span> far.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you didn’t do anything?” Lambert pipped.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“hmm.” Geralt set his head on the edge of the table with a thud.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, did you try something and it didn’t work? Ha </span>
  <span>Ha</span>
  
  <span>Ha</span>
  <span>, you’re an idiot, brother.” Eskel leaned back in his seat, a smile on his face at his brother's misfortune.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I tried to help.” Geralt sounded just defeated enough for it to peek Eskel’s interest, “He sounded hurt, or scared. I didn’t want him to be alone.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah yes, because the white wolf crawling into your bed at night would calm anyone down.” Eskel giggled, but had a softer tone now.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You should go talk to him.” Lambert stood, “Not like there’s much to do today, and suffering through avoiding </span>
  <span>each other</span>
  <span> all day </span>
  <span>won't</span>
  <span> make it better.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Lambert may have been right, but as Geralt stood at Jaskier’s door he couldn’t will himself to knock. He heard pacing on the other side of the door. Jaskier was holding something and swinging it around aimlessly. He was talking to himself, not voicing enough of the words for Geralt to make any sense of it, he lifted his arm to the door. The knock was accompanied by a single strum of Jaskier’s lute and the footsteps stilling. Geralt cringed inward, his timing was off. He’d have to knock again, but that would take twice the strength it did the first time and he didn’t even want to have this conversation.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Geralt?” a whisper came from the door.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.” Geralt heard Jaskier swallow, getting close to the door Geralt repeated himself. “Sorry, I just wanted to say sorry.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“For what?” </span>
  <span>Melitele’s</span>
  <span> tits this was going to suck. Geralt breathed in, calming his nerves like he was about to fight to the death with some </span>
  <span>gruesome</span>
  <span> creature.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I... They...” Geralt couldn’t figure out what to say, or what to apologize for. “Can I come in?”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>There were steps towards him, a jingling of the handle and the door was opened. Geralt walked in, making sure to give Jaskier space. The silence was not nearly as unbearable as Geralt had expected. Unsure of what to do he stood in the middle of the room, wanting to hold Jaskier and tell him it was alright, but feared it would only make things worse.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I would like to </span>
  <span>apologize</span>
  <span> for what I have done.” Geralt said, trying with all his might to look Jaskier in the eyes. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve not done anything wrong.” Jaskier said, without further input and a beat to long for either of them Geralt shifted about where he stood.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“hmm.” he knew that wasn’t a suffice answer and, stammering out what he could, added, “Okay, good. That's good.” As eloquent as ever. Jaskier hummed in return to the </span>
  <span>witcher</span>
  <span> without another word. He could smell something discouraging on Jaskier, unable to place it, but knowing that it wasn’t a positive emotion Geralt took his leave from Jaskier’s room.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He’d need to find a way to fix this before night. He didn’t want Jaskier spending the night alone again if he was going to act the same way he had the night before.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>corrections for spelling or grammer in the comments is welcomed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Things Aren't Always What They Seem</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>misunderstandings are fun, if you're not in the middle of it.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I lost the notes i had for this and it really discouraged me to continue, i came back to re-read it and holly shit the amount of comments and reads and kuddos. it may not be what i once wanted it to be. but i hope its enough to keep you reading.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Even without the heavy snowfall the sun disappeared early. Today with it piling up against the windows night fall seemed to have arrived just after lunch. Eskel and Lambert sat at a table, attempting to play gwent as they watched Geralt pace. </p>
<p>“Would you stop your incessant trotting!” Lambert nearly yelled, throwing his losing hand to the table. </p>
<p>Eskel snorted and took his winnings, “It’s interesting seeing our white wolf be riddled with emotions. It’s usually you making a fuss.” </p>
<p>“He should just go talk to the lark, better fuck it out.” Lamberts crude words caught Geralt by surprise. </p>
<p>“It’s not… ‘s not like that.” Geralt stumbled through his words, he knew Jaskier didn't want anything to do with him like that. The sour feeling, he noted coming from his bard, made sure of that. “I just need to figure out how to help him, without scaring him.” </p>
<p>Eskel stood and made his way to Geralt's side, he patted his back, huffed as though he were going to speak, then walked out of the dining hall. They all needed to work on their communication skills.  </p>
<p>Lambert laughed and grabbed his cards, “Well that was no help,” he went to pat Geralt and added, “and I won't be either.” </p>
<p>With that he was left alone in a big room, with even bigger thoughts. He had to find a way to make Jaskier feel more at home. Jaskier had seemed fine these last few weeks. Really, he had fit in easily since the beginning of their stay at Kaer Mohren, doing his part without too much complaining. Something must have happened to change that, he thought. </p>
<p>The second that possible something pops into his head Geralt begins to devise a plan. </p>
<p>A plan to help Jaskier, a plan to fix things, a plan he should not have come up with alone. </p>
<p>… </p>
<p>When Geralt had left Jaskier in his room he went right back to the one thing that cleared his head, creating. Whether that was a song, poetry, or a lonely tune, he could always step away from the world and into his own space. All of this was in one book. While in Oxenfurt he’d make a copy, but while out on the path with Geralt it was just a waste of time as he was surrounded by inspiration that he could be using instead. Here in Kaer Mohren there wasn’t much compared to the path, but the full library and Vesemir having kept all that he could save from the sacking was more than enough to entertain him. </p>
<p>His desk was scattered with loose papers, books from the library, and his own scribblings. After a certain horrendous self-proclaimed bard had tried to steal his work Jaskier had begun to write in short hand and a few coded notes, so that if any were to take it, they wouldn’t have anything more than hieroglyphs and illegible markings to look at. </p>
<p>With the sun having gone so soon into the day, Jaskier hadn't noticed the time slip him by and once again he had missed a meal. He wouldn’t be surprised if he had actually missed both lunch and dinner, he’d done so before plenty. Remembering how delectable his first meal of the day was in Novigrad, when he had done the same, was enough to make his mouth water. With that he decided to go down to the kitchen, maybe figure out the hour as he scoured the pantry for a bite. </p>
<p>As he made his way done the stairs, he heard commotion coming from below. Turning the corner, he saw Vesemir and Eskel in the kitchen. </p>
<p>“Hello!” Jaskier smiled brightly, ignoring what had happened that morning. Luck was on his side as Vesemir was rather nice and Eskel wasn’t nearly as much of a menace without Lambert there. </p>
<p>Vesemir didn’t look up from the meat he was plating as he spoke, “Dinner will be ready soon, you must be hungry.” Eskel glanced at Jaskier as he loaded boiled potatoes into a bowl the size of a wagons wheel. He seemed remorseful, as though it were his fault for Jaskiers hunger. </p>
<p>“Glad I was able to write as much as I could today.” he wanted to make sure Eskel didn’t blame himself, “It’s the price to pay for a creative flow.” </p>
<p>“Take these to the table, Jaskier.” Eskel said, pointing to some oils as he lugged the bowl out to the dining hall. Jaskier obliged and Vesemir followed with his own load. </p>
<p>Geralt came down followed by Lambert just as they had sat down. Jaskier had barely taken a bite before Lambert started up with his usual antics. Geralt squirmed as Lambert toke something from his pocket. </p>
<p>“What do we have here, the big bad wolf has a diary.” Lambert held the book open and squinted at it, turning is about in his hands. Geralt tried to grab at it, and although Lambert wasn’t nearly as fast as Geralt, Geralt seemed to be careful with how he handled the journal. “What is this writing? You trying to hide your feelings in code?” Lambert berated, laughing at his brothers worried face. </p>
<p>“Give it here, Lambert.” Geralt growled. </p>
<p>Jaskier had never seen Geralt write, maybe it was only something he did in the keep. Lighten the load for his travels. Lambert grunts and throws the book to Eskel. Jaskier catches but a glimpse of it and knows now why Geralt seemed destressed, it was his book. It was Jaskiers own song book. </p>
<p>“Geralt!” Jaskier yells, he goes to reach for Eskel as Eskel throws it back over to Geralt. Lambert all but tackles Geralt before he can catch it and as they fall to the ground Jaskier sees where his most precious love is heading. Directly into the hearth. </p>
<p>Without thinking, yet knowing exactly what he’s doing, he launches towards the fire. He lands with his arms out stretched, book in hand and a horrible mixture of freezing stone on his chest and flames too close to his hands. He curls up around his book, inspecting it. The edges are singed and the backing is burned. It isn't for a few more seconds that he notices the burns along his clothes and the pinkness to his skin. Only a little after that that the pain starts to fade in, sharp and throbbing. </p>
<p>There is a silence to the room he finds disturbing. Jaskier looks up at the men standing around him. Eskel and Lambert seem confused, Vesemir is still sitting at the table, and Geralt is frozen in place. Jaskier wishes he had more control over his emotions only for occasions like this, where tears start to roll down his face and he can't look Geralt in the eyes. With as much composure as he can muster Jaskier stands, griping his book against his chest and walks to the stairs. </p>
<p>He doesn't make it far before Geralt tries to say something. </p>
<p>Jaskier chokes out a, “Don’t.” before running the rest of the way to his room, refusing to look back.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>honestly thank you for any attention you're giving this odd little thing. even the simplest comments like a smily face mean so much.<br/>as always grammer and spelling corrections are welcome.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A Helping Hand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jaskier and Vesemir have a chat, Geralt divises a new and improved plan, this time with help.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jaskier fled the room that night unsure of what had happened, he sequestered himself away, hiding from everything, from Geralt. The same questions plagued his mind throughout the night: why did Geralt have my book? What was he doing with it? Did he want Jaskier gone so badly he would do something as drastic as this?  </p><p>Jaskier didn’t want to believe that last one. Geralt knew what that book meant... didn’t he? He'd seen Jaskier writing in it, protecting it from weather, and monsters, and his own blood. He must know what it means to him. Jaskier thought himself in circles. Not knowing what could be worse, Geralt intentionally hurting the one thing Jaskier has always kept safe on their travels, or Geralt not knowing at all and just casually stealing from him. </p><p>Jaskier wrapped the blankets around him as tight as he could. The sun was peeking through and he hadn't slept at all, his stomach growled as he remembered that he hadn't actually eaten a full meal in nearly a day and a half. That dull pain was quickly over shadowed by the stinging pain in his fingers as the thick wool stuck to the weak skin, tugging it as he let go. He winced as he brought his hands to his chest. The prickly feeling of tears built up behind his eyes as he thought of how he’d be able to play like this. And the loop started again with a why, why, why Geralt would do this. </p><p>He's hungry. </p><p>He’s burnt. </p><p>He’s upset. </p><p>He nearly lost his book, that little part of his soul. Why would Geralt steal his book? So much of Jaskier was hidden away in that book, so many of the things he doesn't say. If Geralt had managed to read the book, would he be able to decipher Jaskiers writing, his own little hieroglyphs. If he did, if he accomplished that, he would know how Jaskier loves him. And he’d leave him. </p><p>What if he did figure it out? </p><p>Jaskier shook that thought out of his brain, Geralt is smart but not that smart. It would probably take him longer than that to figure it out, he hoped. </p><p>With a deep breath and a sinking exhaustion running through him, Jaskier stood and made his way down to the kitchen. He didn’t bother trying to sneak in, this early no one would be up. The assortment of meats made his stomach churn when he saw then so he grabbed a bun. </p><p>Deciding to hide away in a corridor in case someone did come down, he left the kitchen. He would have gone to the library but he learned the hard way very early on in his stay to never bring food into Vesimirs library. </p><p>As he looked around the keep, he wondered how it was when it was full of life, full of other Witchers. What it was like for Geralt as a little boy here. How old was Vesimir exactly? This had been his home for many a decade, possibly centuries. Jaskier wondered if he ever got lost when all the halls looked the same. Dull and lacking any proof of being lived in. It was beautiful, in the same way an abandoned castle was alluring... and haunted. </p><p>He took a bite of his loaf as a chill went through his spine, maybe he’d head back to his room instead. As he turned an outstretched hand came into view. </p><p>“Meliteles tits!” Jaskier screamed as he dropped to the ground. </p><p>A soft chuckle came from the supposed ghostly figure. Jaskier opened his eyes to a pair of dark boots, Witcher boots. Afraid of the dead face of whoever this used to be he kept his vision low as he stood and backed away. </p><p>“Jaskier.” A gruff voice said, Jaskier let out a breath when he recognized Vesemirs voice, “You should pick up your bun, it’s hard enough keeping the mice out as it is.” </p><p>Jaskier looked around the dark hall, lit just barely by the dawn coming in through windows at the very end of the corridor. He hadn't noticed he had dropped his breakfast so he had no reference to where it could have rolled to. </p><p>There was a grunt as Vesemir picked it up for him, “I forget you aren't as adept to the dark as us, though I thought I'd read something about bucks having quite good eye sight.” he stood up straight and handed the now dusty bun back to Jaskier. He wanted to correct Vesemir, but thought better than to try and prove himself to a Witcher. “Come with me, we should take a look at those hands.” Vesemir said, walking farther down the hall. </p><p>It wasn’t much farther until Vesemir opened a door to what seemed to be a room full of potions and other things in glass. He pointed Jaskier to a chair as he went to a cupboard and started looking for something. Jaskier had yet to be in this room. He would never have found it on his own, he thought, as he fidgeted about in his seat. </p><p>Vesemir came over with a small bowl and an outstretched hand. Jaskier hadn't spoken much to Vesemir outside of the library and so wasn’t sure of how to go about this. </p><p>“You know Geralt cares for you, correct?” Vesemirs sudden question startled Jaskier, he didn’t know what to say.  </p><p>“He... we don’t...” Jaskier was stuck, the irony of a writer lost for words crossed his mind. </p><p>“I see how he acts with you, how he tries.” Vesemir talked as he applied a cool salve to Jaskiers hand. “We both know where his intelligence lies... as well as where he lacks it.” Jaskier sat still. </p><p>“Ha... you could say that again.” Jaskier tried to lighten the mood, but it fell short when Vesemir was being so up front with him. </p><p>“Do you know the story of Deidir?”  </p><p>“Um... I’m not sure where you’re going with a story of a mute man who fucks a gallon of beer.” Jaskier said, confused as to why he was bringing up the lude limerick. </p><p>“Hmm.” There was the ever-present humming of the wolf witchers, “The story may have been changed over the years.” he looked solemn as he stared down at Jaskiers hands, a tap to Jaskiers wrist told him to switch hands. He began his retelling just as any man would when explaining a difficult subject to a child, “Our story starts with Deidir, who would not speak out of fear, a witch came along, and ripped out her song, to never call her love, my dear” </p><p>“Thats not the one I learned.” Jaskier said, this one was much sadder and not nearly as fun. </p><p>“Yes well, things change with time. I doubt it would be entertaining to say that old version to a bunch of young drunks.” Vesemir pat the back of Jaskiers hand, he was done with the salve and looked up at Jaskiers eyes, “Do you know why I told you that poem?” </p><p>“It has to do with what happened I suppose.” </p><p>“There is another verse.” Jaskier looked at Vesemir, he seemed so genuinely caring. “Unable to make a sound, but wishing to be profound, she stole her loves heart, her dear fell apart, and she was left to drown.” Jaskier stayed silent, he knew who Vesemir was talking about. “Geralt isn't the best with his words, it isn't an excuse, but he tries to do things other ways when he can.” </p><p>“hmm” there he was, once again reciting true eloquence just like his Witcher. </p><p>“Those things don’t always go as planned. If you want this cleared up, you may have to be the one to pull those first few words out of him.” </p><p>“I’m always the one doing the talking.” Jaskier said, afraid that maybe this time he’d push Geralt to far. </p><p>“Have you told him that?” Vesemir stood up and placed a warm hand to Jaskiers shoulder, “Have you told him that you’ll listen to what he may have to say?” </p><p>Jaskier stayed quiet, unsure if he should tell Vesemir of what truly scares him if he does try to get Geralt to open up. If he finds something he doesn't like. If Geralt never wanted him there, had never wanted him at all. Instead, he stands and thanks Vesemir for the salve and the chat. </p><p>He'll talk to Geralt at lunch, but for now he has to think, organize his thoughts add another page to his journal. </p><p>… </p><p>Geralt had been scolded by his brothers a million times over, for not closing the door properly in winter (even when it wasn’t him), for eating the last of the meat, for taking the best skins to sleep under before they could. This time was different, they weren't just complaining they were simply right. </p><p>Lambert was bundled in his blankets still half asleep when Eskel busted in dragging Geralt behind him.  </p><p>“How did you even come up with this?” Eskel asked as he walked around Lamberts room. Geralt kept he’s eyes on the floor, he had fought the worst of monsters, faced the most horrid of humans, yet couldn’t face what he had done. “You’re an idiot.” </p><p>“I’m aware he’s an idiot but context would help, here.” Lambert said, groggy from the cold. </p><p>“Yesterday,” Eskel started, already exasperated, “the book you took from him, it was Jaskiers.” </p><p>“The larks little song book?" Lambert sat up now, looking at Geralt. </p><p>“That’s the one.” They were both staring at Geralt now, he kept his eyes down. </p><p>“Why?” Geralt looked up to Lambert at his question. “Why would you grab the book?” </p><p>“He's been acting odd lately, thought it could tell me something. Maybe how to help.” He knew from the beginning it wasn’t a good idea to take it, he just hadn’t expected it’d all go to shit so quickly. </p><p>“Well fuck,” Lambert looked over to Eskel, “So, why are you here.” </p><p>“To help the dumbass.” Geralt may be uncomfortable, but he was honestly grateful for Eskels attempts to help. </p><p>“Ha, like the oaf could be helped” Lambert blurted flopping back down to his bed. Their talks always had an edge to it, but this one stung. </p><p>“Not from you at least, I’ve heard enough about Aiden.” That was a low blow and he knew that. </p><p>“Fuck you.”  </p><p>“Hmm” He didn’t bother going farther, he knew he shouldn’t have said anything about Aiden. </p><p>“You know I did fix that.” Lambert nearly pouted, he was never good at talking, none of them were. </p><p>“Huh?” </p><p>“It.. I… Aiden was upset so I… fixed things.” </p><p>“How?” </p><p>Lambert puffed up his chest with a false pride, “So know you want my help?” </p><p>“Hmm” the apology may have been barely there, but never the less it was there. So, Lambert decided to help. </p><p>The plan was simple, get all the food Jaskier liked, play his favorite games, show him around the keep with stories to really let him envision the history of their home, then to top it off Geralt would take Jaskier on a little walk and apologize with his words. Lambert was very specific about using his words. </p><p>Finally, if everything goes well, a warm bath would be waiting for Jaskier in Geralt's room. </p><p>Tonight, is for planning and preparing for tomorrow. They would need; duck meat, roasted veggies and a hearty soup being made before lunch; the right games set at the tables so that Jaskier wasn’t too suspicious; a planned route of the keep with stories Geralt would find too hard to recite; an area cleared of snow for the talking parts of the plan, and a basin full of water already in Geralts room. </p><p>The night would be long, but worth it in Geralts eyes... even with how much he would owe his brothers for after this was over.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>well my life got flipped, turn upside down. im now a full time student in 2 universities. thats right a dual degree, but not, 'cuz its electromechanics and digital animation... i also have a part time job and am learning german and python coding in my free time... why ive done this to my self i have no idea but here we are.</p><p>hope you like it</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry for any spelling mistakes, I correct them as I go and don't have the balls to have someone beta for me. If you see an error feel free to tell me, knowlege will never be anoying I just can't spell</p></blockquote></div></div>
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